My really terrible fanfiction confessions

Ok, so I’ve done a few bad fanfiction things in days gone by. Thankfully, little of this remains saved.

Until now. Oops!

-In terms of pure weirdness, I made a fic where Helga, the final boss of the ridiculous tie-in game Revolution X, killed the Kool-Aid Man. (All I can remember of the plot is her being brought by a MacGuffin Man, the Kool Aid Man appearing, and her turning his pitcher-body into a colander).

-In terms of technical inaccuracy, I had modern warships powered by burning coal.

-And of course, I’ve done “shipping”. Both rammed-together character ships that have no evidence and are likely contradictory, to bad canon character/OC ships. Although a lot of the crazier pairings aren’t really that serious. One was even designed to be the craziest pairing I could think of.

 

 

Shipping

The fandom term “relationshipping” was turned into just plain “shipping”, leading to gigantic internet arguments about who was the best romantic pairing for characters. These “Shipping Wars” are rather-furious.

Some naive authors attempt to answer the shipping by making a canon couple. This does not work, to put it mildly.

The Settings With No Foundation

The urge to make so-called “Fixfics” is strong among many fanfiction authors. They range from well thought-out trimming of the excesses to destroying the themes of the canon work in favor of cheap wish fulfillment. Take a guess which is more common.

That being said, I’ve both seen and hoped to write multiple fixfics. It’s tough, and depends a lot on the setting. One of the reasons why people gravitated to the Familiar of Zero setting is that it had a unique concept and strong foundation (fantasy set in a Renaissance setting, detailed enough background) and squandered it on silly antics. That was a good setting for a fixfic. There are bad ones too.

Some settings aren’t just adverse to fanfics overall, but especially to fixfics. Exactly what clicked when I was struggling to come up with a plausible fixfic of the infamous The Big One, remembered I was having similar struggles with the equally infamous Gate anime, and saw how oddly similar the settings were for a technothrilller with only one awkward supernatural element and a fantasy.

Both are horrifically nationalist works. Both go a step farther than the common patriotic thriller and work extra-hard to keep their nations from facing the slightest actual threat. And, most crucially, both have horrible worldbuilding that’s either uninspired, in the service of said “prevent conflict ASAP”, or both.

This makes fixfics tough. An author has to change a lot to make it more plausible/interesting, but that begs the question of why they wouldn’t just go the full length and write an original story unencumbered by all the baggage the existing setting has?

 

The SaltyBet Resort

Watching a considerable variety of matches on the infamous Saltybet, the natural fanfic concept is to imagine a resort where the hundreds and hundreds of men, women, monsters, memes, cars, contraptions, and whatever else the MUGEN designers have made rest between their matches. Saltybet is too varied to provide any coherent concept, but the thought is still amusing.

The Smash Bros. fandom has set a precedent with the so-called “Smash Mansion”, where instead of turning back into trophies, the characters stay there between matches and interact in fics that tend to be bad even by the standards of Sturgeon’s Law.

Of course, since the long, official name is “Salty’s Dream Cast Casino”, my headcanon imagines another resort, where the interdimensional elite view and bet on such matches for their entertainment.

So maybe I’m just too bored when I see a Saltybet match and think “Hmm, what about ____ relaxing after the battle”.

Or maybe it’s just my sense of craziness that leads me to make fanfic ideas merging a cutesy RPG and a technothriller.