Fanfiction has a way of becoming long-winded. The total lack of editors, the make-it-up-as-you go nature, and the “locked-in” effect of being unable to edit past chapters easily all contribute into works that make War and Peace seem tiny.

Enter The Subspace Emissary’s Worlds Conquest, which makes Proust seem tiny. This Smash Brothers fic is arguably the longest piece of fiction in the English language, with its four million words making it over three times as long as the classic In Search of Lost Time

The “plot” of this story is incredibly simple. An original character named Chris (which happens to be the name of the author as well-hmm…) and his Lucario, join up with the cast of Smash Bros. Brawl in a crossover through every other game the author has played. This is not an exaggeration.

That being said, it’s hard to sink the claws into it. The writing isn’t that detailed (but it has gotten better as the story has progressed), so it’s difficult to “mock” in that sense. The author is actually good-natured (if embodying all the traits of a Fanfiction.net writer from Central Casting), so there’s no “drama” around it. And that the fic has slowed down and lingers un-updated like the half-iguana in Boatmurdered,  indicates that it doesn’t stand apart from the Fanfiction.net mediocrity so much as represent an oversized version of it.

This is important.

What this fic is every young gamer’s fantasy that they’ve scribbled, or kept in their head. I’ve certainly thought of similar things when I was younger. It’s just-written out, and written to a gigantic extent.

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